It’s been two weeks since my grandmother passed away and the hurt is still here, the sudden flash of memory – and then the flood of hot tears in the eyes.

Butterflies have been appearing ever since. Dad told me about two strange occurrences, one on the day when she was cremated and another on the seventh day of her death. My aunt who had been her caregiver encountered a white butterfly who followed her everywhere she went. When she left the house, the butterfly flew away. Then, on the seventh day, a colorful butterfly fluttered in and lingered on my grandmother’s cupboard until night.

We would like to think that it was my grandmother who had visited us.

Me? A blue butterfly appeared on the day before the cremation. I saw it. My older girl saw it. The blue was dazzling, like shimmering velvet skies. Vivid eye-spots too. But my dad said that grandma had never been to where I live now.

Few hours left for Easter Sunday and soon, it would be April.

I miss ah-ma.

Easter weekend fic: Desert Tigers

Posted on my Tumblr.

A sweet Minfeng and Javen tale.

For folks who have read Phoenix With A Purpose.

Slowly pulling through: update

Thank you for your replies and thoughts. I really appreciate them. It’s been a week since my grandma had passed away and little things still trigger moments of deep sorrow. I grieve most for my dad who had so tirelessly looked after her in the four months right up until her passing. I saw him crying at the funeral and it tore at me.

I am slowly pulling through, getting back onto my feet.

This month is end of Lent, Easter, Ostara, resurrection and rebirth. So much to learn from it, listen to it. I want my own rebirth, my own rising-up-from-the-ashes, hence my phoenix icon. I identify so much with Phoenix it appears frequently in my stories, in my dreams.

Let this week be a good week.

I am also dealing with people whom I think I should not engage further. Unfortunately, they are part of a media agency I am writing for. Even I have already put in my letter of resignation, they are still acting like smug assholes, without a smidgeon of EQ whatsoever. So I am going to endure these 3 weeks until my last day in April. Hope the school contacts me again.

So, rebirth. I need it.

This is still on-going.

Will write something about the Spec Fic tea party on Saturday…eventually. ๐Ÿ˜‰

ISF Annual Anthology 2012

I feel honored to be with luminaries such as Ken Lu and Aliette de Bodard.

ISF 2012 Annual Anthology

A bit quiet.

My grandmother passed away last Saturday. There will be a Buddhist prayer service for her this evening. Tuesday will be the cremation.

I am going to miss her so much.

Oh wait, what?

Phoenix With A Purpose is recโ€™ced for the Hugo Awards nominations?!

Awesome Jan Xu fanart!


Isn’t this picture awesome?

Go visit the artist! She’s the talented Wendy Xu whose Angry Girl Comics is also awesome. ๐Ÿ˜‰

This is a fantastic belated birthday surprise! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Thank you for being patient!

Riderย ‘s release might be pushed back to a later date.

Thank you for being patient!

Well, look, it’s March!

1st March. 38 years ago, a wolf was born. ๐Ÿ˜‰

More to writing, to life and to all!